Please put the Vegemite ON the Toast!

Who ya gonna call?? Toastbusters?? ©

Has anyone noticed an alarming trend? At cafes citywide, it seems that ordering Vegemite toast doesn't, in fact, result in a waiter bringing out toast with Vegemite on it. Instead, they typically bring out a couple of slices of toast, a dish of butter, a dish of Vegemite (or, if you're unlucky, a disposable packet thereof) and a knife. You are then expected to put the butter and Vegemite on yourself.

My question is: why do they think I am at a cafe? Clue: it's because I want THEM to make the food. I do not want to have to do half the work myself. What's next: BYO bread and a sign pointing to the toaster?

The one explanation I've heard is that different people like different amounts of butter and Vegemite (or peanut butter, or jam, or whatever) on their toast, so it is presumptuous of the cafe to decide for them. To the extent this true, i.e. to the extent we're not paying the chef or sandwich hand to make a judgement on our behalf, the solution is simple: the person taking one's order should ask one to specify "a little", "a lot" or "somewhere in between", much as we ask for steak rare, medium, or well done (or medium rare, medium well or blue).

In short, please put the Vegemite ON my toast!